transposable element

lately, it’s been difficult to leave j in the kindergarten. he’d cling to me as soon as he hears the words “mama has to go now”. this morning was the first time i left him crying. after half an hour, i couldn’t stand the memory so i called and checked how he was doing. they said he was ok and actively and excitedly dancing and playing with the other kids. so what the heck was that drama this morning about? yesterday, i had to pick him up earlier than usual, but was behaving quite normally once we were at home. hm.

for the last six months, he has been eager to go everyday and play with his mates, so i’m baffled with this turnabout. i think it’s a bit late for separation anxiety to kick in. i’m trying to pinpoint the root cause, but there are so many little things that could collectively make him feel insecure.

he’s been a bit under the weather, with a bit of cold and cough. but then he’s had worse and he was never this clingy.

tooth number 11 and 12 are halfway out, the 13th and 14th are peeking and the 15th and 16th are just a push away to breaking thru. this round of teething has been particularly nasty, giving him a slight temperature, on and off during the day. but it’s too slight a fever to warrant a paracetamol and he doesn’t seem to be minding it at all. he’s not even cranky. but then he has never been a cry-baby anyway.

he’s also been self-weaning from breastfeeding the last week or so, since i got sick. but i didn’t think that would cause problems as he was doing it out his own accord. and it’s not as if we’re spending less time together.

there are two new one-year old boys in the group since the beginning of the month. is j maybe getting less attention? confused with the new additions? gee, i hope not, because three older girls will soon be leaving for “real” kindergarten, and will be replaced with new kids one after another. turbulent times ahead. sheesh…

sometimes i wish i can read j’s mind and see what’s bothering him. instead, here i am spending fruitless hours worrying and trying to decode the signals he’s sending, instead of productively working. no wonder employers hesitate hiring mothers, hahaha!!

we’ve landed a minor windfall so we’re planning our next big purchases. the ticket to manila will be one, plus its accompanying expenses (shopping!). hubby is also planning to get a notebook so he can seriously start writing up his manuscript. the good thing about a notebook is that one can always sneak in a couple of hours work when the mood strikes. well, in theory, at least. or he can take the train instead of driving to and from work, and put those more-than-three hours time to good use. being non-techies, we have no idea what to get. reminds me of that time last year as we got our videocam. we were driven cross-eyed, comparing one model to another. in the end, we simply ended up choosing a model cited in the stiftung warentest magazine (an independent group which compares wares in the market, from computers to anti-wrinkle creams) as “gut” which fell within our price range.

back to laptops: a friend recommended an acer model, with centrino instead of pentium 4. he said centrino uses less energy to work, so the battery lasts up to double the time it does when using pentium 4. seems like a good point to consider. as for the model of the notebook itself, we’re absolutely clueless. we don’t need a very flashy one with all sorts of capabilities we’ll never be able to figure out, much less use. we’d probably even be happy with one from aldi, except that they don’t offer much customer service. so what features do we need? ah, uhm…it would be nice if it’s quiet… and lightweight. in silver or black would be ok. aah, technical specs? um, duh?

i can’t believe it. i. can’t. believe. it. according to the calendar, it’s officially springtime since sunday. so why the heck is it still snowing outside?! whoever is orchestrating these weather changes seems to have overlooked that it’s nearly the end of march. hello? are we supposed to go easter-egg hunting beneath the snow?

hm. but there’s still hope. in the philippines, no matter what the weather is like, the heat always seems to peak on good fridays. it may be rainy the rest of summer months (thanks to the el niño/la niña havoc), but good fridays are always H-O-T. i’ve checked the dates, and it’s still 2 weeks to go… let’s see if the weather on this side of the globe also lets up…

let’s hope it does, because i’ve nearly had it and i’m this much to booking my flights home! waaah, ibalik n’yo ko sa pilipinaaas!!!!

i’ve moved my entries to this address: www.ruth.pinayexpat.com (obvious ba kung sino ang ninang ko, hehe)…

i’ve got no tagboard there yet… but you can leave comments na. and still am on the process of moving so everything’s still a bit disorganized. considering how technobobo (to borrow xtine’s word) i am, it might take some time til everything’s set… a couple of years should do it, hehehe….

PARUPARONG BUKID WILL FLY TO ANOTHER WEB ADDRESS. MY FAIRY GODMOTHER IS HELPING ME WITH THE MOVE. WILL LET YOU KNOW THE NEW ADDRESS SOON SO YOU CAN UPDATE YOUR LINKS (as if ang daming interesado, hehe). i’ve promised some people i’ll put links to their site on mine, but with the new UPSAID policy, i can’t even access my own control panel anymore. when i’m settled on my new web home, i’ll update my links list. if you don’t see yours, then bug me about it, ok. remember, i’ve got poor memory.

anybody knows of Feng Shui chuvah when moving web addies?

since sunday, i am as close to what stay-at-home moms could have as sick leave: as long as hubby is home, he takes over taking care of the kid and the household. and he has been handling it like superman. mornings, he gets j ready for kindergarten and brings him there. he comes home early from work, change j’s nappies, and take j with him shopping or out to the playground. when they’re back, he’ll tidy up the flat and wash the dishes while cooking dinner. he feeds jan, hangs the laundry, brush j’s teeth, get him ready for bed and finally put him to sleep. and all these time, i’m lying around useless in a makeshift bunk in the living room, cast away from the bedroom lest the little one catches my flu. (is it a wonder i’ve been thru 5 pinoy movies -courtesy of AnP- in 2 days?) when the little one is off to dreamland, he goes back to the living room, makes sure i have everything i need within reach, bids me goodnight and gives me a five-minute hug before he drags himself to bed, exhausted to the bone.

in this home, we don’t have a 50-50 division of labor in household chores. it’s more like 80-20. sometimes i do 80%, he does 20%. sometimes it’s the other way around. on days like these, he’s doing 95% and i’m barely managing my 5%.

and it’s days like these that confirms i’ve chosen the right partner for life. we’ve outgrown the mushy doe-eyed lovestruck sweeter-than-honey stage… i think. oh, i still get unexpected flowers and chocolates now and then, and my heart still skips a beat when i get them. but i guess, the things that i consider as expressions of love have changed a bit. i’ve never been one to be awed by material things anyway, but i appreciate it most when hubby does errands/favors/service/(what’s a collective term for these???) for me. and for j. that’s when i feel we’re really building a family together, putting our marriage vows into practice.

…for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
til death do us part…

(ugh, i’ve always found that last line a tad bit morbid!)

woohoo, spring is finally here! seems so, at least. the air smells botanic-fresh, with the early blooms pushing their way out of their dormancy. the flowerbox on our kitchen window doesn’t look that pathetic anymore. my narcissus are blooming, and we’ve added a hyacinth bulb and a small plant with bright red flowers that i don’t know the name of. but it looks so cheerful so in it went. soon there would be a myriad of colors out there, and i can’t wait!

it feels warmer, and it sounds different, what with all the birds coming back. soon the jackets and anoraks will be off to the cleaners (for an extortionate bill, mind you), and laid to sleep until the next winter season… my shoulders are already feeling the relief with not having to carry all these crap each day.

BUT, winter had to have its last hirit. j was down with fever over the weekend, and the poor guy had glassy eyes and hardly ate anything. it was so heart-wrenching to see him so passive. he’d have 15-minute bursts of energy when everything would seem back to normal, only to slump again on my shoulders for another long nap. he wasn’t cranky at all, no bouts of crying. he just seemed to be exhausted and sleepy the whole time. good that it was the weekend. and like a bunny in springtime, this morning he was again up and about, behaving like his normal self.

now, if summer can just peep in a bit earlier…
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i am sick. cough, colds, fever. and every single bone in my body seem to protest each time i move. and hubby is away on a conference. and i have to cook lunch for j’s kindergarten (parents take turns cooking, so we get our turn every 2 weeks). and i have to make a report. and the laundry pile is growing. and the floor is sticky with spilled juice. and the kitchen is a mess.

but at least it has stopped snowing. thank God for small miracles.

PB, explained

ever wondered at the title of this blog? rather coincidental, actually. every now and then, i’d sing filipino folk songs to J, so he’d get a bit of exposure to the language. on the day this blog was born, i was singing paruparong bukid while changing J’s nappies and getting him ready for kindergarten. you know how a song sometimes get stuck inside your head and you keep humming it the whole day? well, by the time i was prompted for a username, paruparo came handy.

come to think of it, the name suits me. especially the bukid part. ricefields hold a certain charm for me. when i conjure a picture of a ricefield in my mind, a lot of happy memories surface. i feel calm, peaceful, home. where i grew up, ricefields used to stretch as far as the eye could see. one wouldn’t believe that now, though, as it had gotten more busy and buzzing over the years. but i still prefer to imagine LB as the sleeping town i knew it to be–a university town nestled at the foothills of mt makiling, with a panoramic vista of ricefields and the laguna de bay. this is where i found my wings and learned to fly…

fast forward a couple of decades and here i am, wings still fluttering. i’ve set my tiny feet on different parts of the world during the years in between, fleeting visits though they were. for now, i’ve made my nest, laid an egg. who knows where i’ll fly to next? but ah, next time i’ll be part of a school of butterflies!

“Paruparong Bukid,
na lilipad lipad,
Sa gitna ng daan,
papaga-pagaspas,
Isang bara ang tapis,
isang dangkal ang manggas,
Ang sayang de-kola,
isang piyesa and sayad.
May payneta pa siya uy!
May suklay pa mandin uy!
Nagwas de-ohetes ang palalabasin,
Haharap sa altar at mananalamin
At saka lalakad na pakendeng-kendeng.”
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Opportunities like this make me wistful… If only I know for sure we’ll stay put here for the next 3 years…