this article has been doing the email rounds presumably for some time now, and though i absolutely detest chain-emails, this one piqued my interest. the author is a contributor to inquirer and the article may have been first published there. am too lazy to search the inquirer archives, but i did ‘google’ the author and apparently, she’s an assitant professor at UPD college of education. the message is loud and clear, guys! and to the beautiful and intelligent moms out there, give yourselves a pat on the back!

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WHY CHOOSING AN INTELLIGENT WIFE IS IMPORTANT
By Grace Shangkuan Koo, Ph.D.

Beauty or Brains? Brains or Beauty? People ask men whether they would choose a beautiful wife or a brainy one… What do you expect their answers would be? - the HONEST answers.

When we see a pretty woman who stays unmarried, we WONDER why!!! But for a plain girl to remain single, we think we KNOW why. This is different in the case of a man…the brainiest get as many points as the handsomest, if not more.

Some women are beautiful until they open their mouths; some are plain until they share their minds. Watch the noontime shows where the hosts make fun of the “intelligence” of the pretty girls parading before them. It appears that the girls do not feel insulted. As a matter of fact, they look like they are enjoying it, and quite proud to be noticed, and appearing on TV.

The “dumb blonde” image is not merely a stereotype; it speaks of values, of choices, of consequences. When more and more intelligent women are bypassed as man’s choice for a wife, we may be losing some of the best genes for a bright future.

Research has shown that a child’s IQ is highly correlated with the parents’ IQ - more so with the mother’s IQ than the father’s. Particularly, the mother’s education provides the key to understanding a child’s achievement and motivation. What are these studies saying? That NATURE plays a very important part in the offspring’s intelligence, and that the NURTURE educated parents provide, will determine the learning environment which enhances
innate capabilities.

Mothers are more involved in their children’s education, directly and indirectly. Mothers provide language models for their child - they correct grammar, interact more with their child, expand his vocabularies, model sentence patterns. They decide on the types of books and toys to be bought, types of family activities on weekends; these speak of the “intellectuality” of the family. Mothers develop a child’s work habits and routine. They are more involved in supervising homework of their children, and are more knowledgeable of their child’s progress. Do I hear a chorus of “Amen’s” from the mothers?

If a mother is more concerned about beauty than brain, her daughter may be more interested reading fashion magazines than Time or Newsweek. She may spend her money more on clothes than books, her time, in beauty salons than in playing word games.

Hoping not to stereotype beautiful women, we are looking at some practical implication. A parent who loves books would naturally scatter books around the house. A parent who loves Math provides a model of careful attention to details and persistence.

Putting aside the genetics of intelligence (many researches find heredity to be a more pronounced factor), the “learning” part of a child’s intelligence can at least be predicted and controlled. An intelligent, educated, and accomplished woman is not to be feared: she is to be pursued, not only for a job, but also for a wife.

If the reader starts to think that this writer is an unattractive professor sour-graping, you may be surprised. I get quite a few compliments for my looks; and I am amazed- and confused, although I should admit, I like the feeling. I never thought myself to be beautiful. The first person who thought I was beautiful was my husband, and I did not believe him! Maybe my parents thought so too, but they did not express it. As a girl, I was even greeted with “What an ugly child!” by a visitor when I showed up in the introduction of family members. Maybe I should not blame her, because I was a scrawny girl, with a flat nose and “chinky” eyes. I now console myself that I am a late bloomer. The criteria for beauty must have changed!

Growing up, we get an idea of how “intelligent” we must be, by our report cards and class honor’s roll. We had a stronger sense of our academic self-concept. But when we get into the real world, we may find out how differently the society assesses us. The media tell us that the beautiful women are more prized. The be-spectacled “professora” takes a backseat in talk shows where supposedly she is the expert on the topic; and the beautiful actress who doesn’t even care about the issue, or understand the question, is given the seat of importance.

The lesson here is for intelligent women to package themselves nicely. To the best of your ability, beautify. The first few seconds or minutes of good appearance-impression will give you a chance to speak. In a society where beauty takes precedence over intelligence, many brilliant women never get a chance to communicate their ideas. One can be both beautiful and brainy. It’s easy to dress fashionably, to learn a few cosmetic tricks; it’s more difficult to train a sharp mind, make a witty remark, master and be fluent in language. Prettify and give the world a chance to hear what’s in the minds of intelligent women.

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