transposable element

jan: o ano? magbibigay ka ba, o kailangan pang may masaktan?

jan: ano, pareng jp? masarap ba? pagkatapos nyan, yung taya nyo sa jueteng, ha!

i know, i know, this issue was again overdue. but we have good reasons. we’ve revamped, re-designed, re-constructed. we’ve got two more people on the editorial team, we’ve changed the titles to the sections to more apt ones, and kala weaved her prowess again, giving us an even better lay-out! this issue tackles pinoy estudyante blues in europe. go check us out, and while you’re there, do answer our readership survey and help us deliver better and better issues.

oh , and yeah, we’ve got cool buttons, too. take your pick! here’s mine:

it’s been more than a year since i’ve started this blog. i’ve changed urls four times: from blogspot, to upsaid, to pinayexpat.com and now to pinayexpat.net. it has never been a smooth path, this blogging adventure. there were times i questioned my purpose of being here. there were times i wanted to stop, not knowing why i’m doing what i do. this statement sums it best:

let me sustain the notion that i write to express
for i shall be self-compelled to stop if i realize that i’ve been writing to impress (source unknown).

i treasure each comment left by readers on this blog. i am too vain to do away with the comment area, because feedbacks from readers are my only affirmation that i have an audience. what good would ranting do, if no one would be listening? what good would putting your thoughts on a public space if no one would read them?

on the other hand, it is not only in writing that i derive joy in blogging. if or when the comments stop coming, i would probably still continue blogging. because the best part of blogging are the relationships you build with other bloggers. like real-life friendships, they take time. they may wax and wane. but given the chance to ripen, the friendships borne out of blogging are as valuable and the joys can last you a long, long time.

i’m in bad need of a haircut. but it’s so convenient to gather long hair into a pony. so what to do, what to do? my hair has been through a lot already (click to read my entry to blogkadahan round about body parts), except for a natalie portman look. hm, shall i dare?


hair and makeup courtesy of polo.

a few weeks ago, we bought a world map for jan. if you ask him where he was born, he’ll say “deutschland!”, at the same time pointing to that area in europe where the berlin wall, goethe, and a mug of beer are illustrated. now, next question: where was mama born?

jan: “there! there, where the monkey is, that’s where you’re born!”

not funny. why did they have to have the tarsier there?

strike one!

one afternoon, we were coming home from the kinderkrippe and jan was whining after some ice cream. since it was becoming a habit to drop by the ice cream man before going home, i decided to be firm this particular day and say no. of course, he wouldn’t take a normal “no!”, so i had to make up a story of not having money with me and that we first have to go up the apartment to get some.

“aber, mama, dort is ein geld automat. da kannst du geld abholen. es geht nicht einfacher!”
“but mama, there is an ATM machine. there you can get some money. it doesn’t get any simpler (than that)!”

strike two!

i was at the kitchen washing up; jan was in his room, painting. on paper, i thought. wrong. jsut a few minutes later, he was triumphantly showing me his artwork on the wall. i shut my eyes, swallowed and went to fetch a sponge. calmly, i told him, “jan, i told you to paint only on paper. look, the color doesn’t completely get off the wall anymore.”

equally patient, as if talking to an intellectually-incapacitated, jan replied,

” aber mama, wie soll ich das wissen?”
“but mama, how was i supposed to know that?”

strike three! am out of the game!!!

when you’re so caught up in your own troubles, you think the world revolves around you. you’re the only one with worries, you’re the only one bugged with trouble. when so many thoughts and concerns ricochet in your head, it takes a big heave of effort to be selfless for a moment to realize there’s a worldful of people out there. all with their own problems, all frantically treading, trying to keep their head above water. you don’t have a monopoly of sorrows, afterall….

in the last days, i’ve realized this blog has functioned as my personal pressure valve: lets the surplus steam off, without getting really rid of the turmoil within. i have blogged about happy, sad, annoying moments. but when my heart jumps with glee, or when i’m in my darkest moods and really angry, somehow, words fail me. i don’t know if it’s the idea of opening myself fully to the world wide web or the fear that it would make me even more vulnerable, but when i’m at extreme emotional swings, i curl into myself and endure it alone. i don’t write. i can’t.

but then again, i just did, didn’t i? oh well, that was just my roundabout way of saying we’ve been having a lot of balls to juggle at the moment…

since i am a very incompetent cook, our kitchen is ill-equipped for preparing elaborate dishes. that’s why i love these two recipes from the pinoycook; they require ingredients so common that even a scantily-stocked kitchen such as mine can dish it out. where i lack, some sort of substitute can be made, approximating the original recipe, without sacrificing the taste.

for the fried chicken with basil, i used margarine, instead of butter because jan has milk allergy. and because i was too lazy to go buy fresh basil, i made do with a liberal helping of ground dried basil. it didn’t turn out looking the way it does on that photo, what with the tomatoes and onions making it somehow look like dried up sarciado, but it had the ketchupy-taste that makes fried chicken so yummy. it’s an unusual way of frying chicken, but it was a hit with jan and hubby!

i also loved sassy’s orange pork loin steaks primarily because they were so easy to do, even for someone as helpless in the kitchen as me. but because i didn’t have herbed salt (er, i don’t even know what that is), i used plain salt (with fluoride and folic acid, if it matters), plus italian seasoning and again, margarine for frying. instead of steak sauce, i used some zigeuner sauce leftover from a grill party last year (kidding!). the orange juice makes this dish a whole lot different to the ho-hum steaks i usually prepare. tastes a bit like piniñahan but well… different. main selling point is: it looks sophisticated, tastes sophisticated, but is suuuuuper easy to do!

i’m counting the days til i can make a repeat performance. meanwhile, on with the hunt for idiot-proof recipes….

visiting friends is no longer as easy when you have a toddler tagging along. especially, when that toddler is as hyperactive as mine. his need to be on constant move and his natural curiosity for everything new and unexplored make jan a truly boisterous child, ergo, un-ideal houseguest. luckily, most of our friends are all married and with children, too. it could be that we are subconsciously drawn to other parents, or maybe it’s just a happenstance that most people our age are already married with kids. but get-togethers are a lot more fun for parents like us when we can bring our child along, knowing the hosts have children of their own. at the very least, there’s the playmate, who will hopefully keep your own child occupied long enough for you to gulp your coffee. and since your hosts are familiar with toddler antics, they wouldn’t mind the extra noise and the kiddie-chaos during and after the party.

knowing that jan has an extra energy pack, however, i choose the households i bring him to. good for his temper, better for my nerves, best for the host’s property. see, not everyone welcomes such a child in their homes. hubby has friends who’d say “yeah, bring jan along!”, but once you’re there, you feel like you’ve dragged an elephant into a china shop. comments like “i’ve never had to put the glass vase up when my niece was here!” or “the neighbor’s son never touched that thorny plant in that corner!” make me edgy and i start counting the minutes until it is politely acceptable to leave the house. one visit and that’s it. ahh, help me pray that these people be “blessed” with a child that sits in a corner and do exactly and only as mommy says.

to the top two people who continue to show me what motherhood is all about, thank you.

happy mother’s day to all moms out there!

photo taken in may, 2003 along the lahn river.

brought to you by smarties and three-flowers (or was it white flowers?) pomade :

notice his (second) puyo?