fall
have you ever been bored but not for lack of something to do? heaven knows when the last time i saw the bottom of our laundry basket was, if i ever did. i’ve got a kid i’ve got to take care of and keep occupied half of the days. i’ve got online stuff i’ve commited to do on a regular basis. so it’s not a matter of not having anything to do. but there’s a yearning to do something… well, something else. i’ve considered the option of seriously looking for work, if only for the year or so that we plan to stay here. but to be honest, am not sure it’s the solution, and i’m afraid if i take on a job, it’ll be like what a friend recently said: “now that i have the job, and i’ve proven that i could get it, i don’t want it anymore.”
just yesterday, i saw an ad on the local newspaper that the university here will be offering for the first time a masteral course in agrobiotechnology. in english. and i started entertaining the idea of going back to school again. i’d probably get in, given that they’re still looking for students this late into the term break. and given my masters degree in microbiology and proficiency in english (damn, boasting aside, i can speak better english than some of the professors!) would make it a breeze. but another master’s degree? and two years? we’re planning to go elsewhere next year. arrrgh! don’t you hate it when some things won’t fit?
*sigh* but then maybe it’s just the weather. pictures such as these now start receding to distant memory:
fall. sometimes i feel it’s not just about the leaves.
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12 Responses to “fall”
September 23rd, 2005 at
“now that i have the job, and i’ve proven that i could get it, i don’t want it anymore.”
If, in the first place, your only reason to look for a job is to prove yourself then you have already started on the wrong foot. And I seriously do not think that you are that kind of person.
Ruth, just keep your options open and try to get what you want. Not because you want to prove yourself but because you want it for yourself. Hoy, for now, do the rice thingie we were talking about the other day. God, the whole night I was so excited about all the possibilties. Haha.
You are educated, level-headed and you have the world right in front of you. Take stock of what you have and think of what YOU really want and then, go for it. I will not be surprised if anytime soon, you’d be emailing or texting us all with good news. Susme, ikaw pa!
September 23rd, 2005 at
thanks, AnP. i probably just have a sneak preview of a mid-life crisis, haha! bukas, tapos na ito, hehe…
you’re right. it’s not the “getting part” that’s the problem; if there’s a will, there’s a way, right? but it’s the “what you want” part that’s making me confused. haaaay…..
September 23rd, 2005 at
but after fall, there’s always spring
you know what i mean…cheers!
wish you all the best.
September 23rd, 2005 at
Hi Ruth. CHEERS!!!
Have a happy week end!
September 23rd, 2005 at
Goodness, I can’t think of anything that would get me to go back to school. How about another baby? I’m sure I’m speaking out of line here. *ducks head*
September 23rd, 2005 at
glo, but that’s about half a year away!
luchie: thanks for the visit! a purpose-driven-life eh? how timely…
lei: er, not toally out of line. that’s one of the unspoken possibilities, BUT when i take that direction, i want to be sure i want it for the right reasons, too…
*sigh* me thinks… am thinking too much
September 23rd, 2005 at
i agree! haha
tara, let’s start planning our tempura night
lunurin ka namin sa alcohol so you can get it out of your system and find out what you really want. mahirap yang naguguluhan. hehe.
September 23rd, 2005 at
what’s important is you know who you are. you can make things happen if you really want to, with your education pa lang ayos na ang buto-buto, eh pag sinamahan mo pa kaya ng charisma at konting pakindat-kindat eh di lalo na!
wanting something “different” once in a while is normal, para sa mga normal na tao. kaya mabuhay ka, dahil isa kang NORMAL!!!
P.S.
maybe you should learn how to play tong-its
September 23rd, 2005 at
nagugulahan kay jan, i would agree ;)…but naguguluhan with what you “want to do?”–i should agree with Anp that you are NOT that type of person.
for the short time i’ve known you, you’ve given me the impression that before you do something eh you really think about it. so jumping into something just to have a job is not YOU. so ganito na lang…
magbaby na nga kasi at 3 na si pangking J.
September 23rd, 2005 at
sis, i can relate with the stay-at-home-mom-is-itching-to-do-”something”-if-only-to-prove-to-herself-and-to-the-world-that-she’s-still-worth-”something” angst. but then, i think it’s healthy din naman to question ourselves once in a while - we, too, are entitled to our seasons. besides, youre a smart woman, and a great mom - and we all can see that. just let your worries fall with the leaves. pasasaan ba at bubunga din ulit yan
September 24th, 2005 at
Hi Ruth… prayer helps to clear out our thoughts… Give it a try…
September 27th, 2005 at
‘wish you could take that masterals. it sounds pretty interesting.