i’m not sure just exactly when filipinos started observing halloween. i just know that it’s something i myself did not grow up with, but my niece and nephew are all giddy and excited about. “we’re going trick-or-treating, tita!” huh?

what i do associate with the end of october are what used to be our yearly trail to my parents’ provinces, to be there right in time for All Saints’ Day. laden with dozens of usualy red intricately designed candles and tubs of gladioli and baby’s breath, the family will flock to the cemetery on the first of november to light candles and put flowers on graves of long-ago dead members of the clan. don’t ask me why we went on the first and not on the second of november, the second more appropriate being All Souls’ Day. but in the philippines, you do as your elders tell you to do, and you don’t ask questions.

the public cemeteries are hot, dusty and crowded. people are tired, stressed and sometimes, lost. people take the opportunity to catch up on the lives of relatives, the grave serving as a sort of venue for family reunions. it’s not unusual for people to bring food and radio (what would pinoys be without music!). children collect the dripping from the candles and make a bet as to who can make the biggest ball of wax ever. if there’s anything that day isn’t, it was sorrowful. which is a bit ironic and ridiculous, i have to admit, but hey, what can i say? pinoys are probably just a pragmatic lot.

as i grew up, those visits became more and more sporadic because it was simply too inconvenient to go. a trip to my dad’s province at the time took about 5 hours (or maybe it just *felt* like five hours to the child i was), and to my mother’s almost double. i guess my parents got over the deaths of their own parents eventually, and didn’t feel the need to go visit their graves anymore. i don’t know. as for me, how can i grieve for the people i never really knew when they were alive? or feel connection to the relatives i meet for only a few hours ever other year?

it’s almost that time of the year again and these memories are so so far away, both in terms of time and space. suddenly, i find myself missing those trips. even though they seem a bit nonsensical, those trips hold more meaning to me than halloween ever will.

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