without jan
hubby and i often say how difficult it is to imagine how life would have been like without jan. he’s been our constant companion for just three and a half years, but somehow it feels like he’s been there all the time. i honestly, really cannot imaigne anymore how my life would have turned out, what stuff i’d be preoccupied with, what principles in life i would or would not have adapted, had jan not come into our lives.
it’s definitely something different, but yesterday, and until tomorrow morning, we’re “child-free”. jan is on a 3-day excursion with the rest of the kindergarten kids –all 25 of them and their 6 caretakers– in a farmhouse a few kilometers from our place. and unless absolutely necessary, we’re requested not to phone.
at the very least, it feels weird. except for once in 2004, when we left him with opa and oma to spend a weekend in nürnberg, jan has never spent a night without at least one parent. afterall, he’s not even four! how old were you when you made your first sleep-over, anyway? i was 14, i think, and it was only because the whole class had to spend the night in school to be able to leave early in the morning for a school trip. 14!
it’s not to say that we’re not taking advantage of jan’s absence. i spent a lovely day yesterday with pia, AnP and raquel: truffle chocolate cake and caffee mocha at starbucks in the morning, apple cider aboard the ebbelwei express and cookie crunch at häagen dazs in the afternoon. all these capped by a 3 hour timeout in the evening with hubby at the spa. bliss!
but still, it’s weird coming home to a flat devoid of jan’s presence. despite the lego and playmobil pieces scattered on the floor, there’s a vacuum only jan’s laughter, or whining, can fill.
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10 Responses to “without jan”
June 8th, 2006 at
what did we do with our lives before kids? i also cannot remember anymore what the house looked like, and sounded like before my firstborn came. kahit makulit minsan, nakakamiss din pag wala sa bahay.
June 8th, 2006 at
hahaha ruth, thats so mommy sounding! i can understand how you feel, my sister is the same, and i am too! matilda may be a ferret, but i get separation anxieties whenever i have to leave her with somebody for more than 24 hours. hang in there mommy, jan will be traipsing back to your waiting hours in a jiffy.
June 9th, 2006 at
I can’t say I can relate because I’m not a Mom, but nevertheless I did feel that strong connection you have with your child.
It made me smile!
June 9th, 2006 at
hey ruthie — i know what you mean. bea went on a school camp for 3 days and it felt like weeks to me. really felt weird. we should relish the ‘freedom’ of being child-free even for a few days as Simon likes to remind me but I still couldn’t help feeling the vacuum that her absence leaves. weird. i wonder how i’d cope when she’s ready to spread her wings and move out of our nest
June 9th, 2006 at
hmmm…the ladies who lunch!
June 10th, 2006 at
cute naman ng KIGA ni jan! for sure enjoy yon at daming kwento pag-uwi niya.
June 11th, 2006 at
ako, hanggang ngayon, hirap pa rin akong mag-decide na mag-sleep over si Jeff sa ibang bahay. he’ll be six this summer and still, adding all the days together na nag-stay siya sa ibang bahay overnight, without any parent at all…47 days…out of 2000 and some days. honestly, i don’t think jeff is really the one who would be upset if we do let him sleep over a friend’s house…it’s me and J who simply can’t just let go. *sigh*
June 12th, 2006 at
same here ruth…and i always whine that i need time alone. but when i’m separated with raine even for important unavoidable reasons, i miss him every single minute.
June 16th, 2006 at
Boy can I relate to this. LIfe would not be the same without them.
March 2nd, 2007 at
[...] well, with jan away, hubby and i of course took advantage and we went on a date to a tapas place, followed by cocktails. our last date was… let me see… well, surprise surprise… when jan was in summer camp last year. we always tell ourselves we should do this more often, get a babysitter and go out- just the two of us- for dinner. perhaps once a month or at least a quarter. but somehow, we never got round to actually doing it. which is probably what makes events like last night’s really great. given all the major events happening in our lives the last few months, and especially the last couple of weeks, it was really good to have had the chance to chat uninterruptedly and enjoy a good meal over several hours. [...]