now i know how it’s like being the rope in a game of tug o’ war. pulled in opposite directions, going one way, only to be pulled towards another. my place is here, to take care of the people who made me into who i am. to give back and reciprocate the decades of nurturing i’ve been given. to be there, to be among them, to be a source of strength in times of weakness.

and yet, the other half of me belongs there, on the other side of the world. to be with the man and son i should be spending the most awaited time of the year with. to bear witness as my son’s eyes fill with wonder at the parcels underneath the tree. and marvel at the goodies revealed as he slowly unwraps them.

two worlds. both mine. but not in full.

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