when the cat is away, the treasure box opens
in a couple of hours, i’ll be picking jan up from kindergarten, after an overnight stay. yep, all kids, plus 6 “teachers” spent the night together in kiga. it’s like a sleepover, a rehearsal for a 3-day/2-night camp in summer. we brought jan last evening at 6, together with his sleeping paraphernalia, and he could hardly wait for the night to begin. pizza for dinner, popcorn-and-video afterwards, and he gets to sleep beside two of his favorite friends, and his favorite teacher. i wonder if he missed us at all.
well, with jan away, hubby and i of course took advantage and we went on a date to a tapas place, followed by cocktails. our last date was… let me see… well, surprise surprise… when jan was in summer camp last year. we always tell ourselves we should do this more often, get a babysitter and go out- just the two of us- for dinner. perhaps once a month or at least a quarter. but somehow, we never got round to actually doing it. which is probably what makes events like last night’s really great. given all the major events happening in our lives the last few months, and especially the last couple of weeks, it was really good to have had the chance to chat uninterruptedly and enjoy a good meal over several hours.
it’ll probably sound strange, but i realized how much i miss my husband. weird, considering we live under the same roof, sleep on the same bed, and except for occasional aberrations, see each other everyday. but i guess, unless you make pointed efforts, being a parent puts being a spouse on a lower hierarchy of roles. not universal truth, definitely, but at least that what seems to be happening to us. we became parents first, spouse to each other next. family time was not wife-husband time. it was parents-child time. the spotlight was on jan, and our husband-wife relationship somehow got brushed aside. to a weaker marriage, it would probably have been detrimental, but fortunately, ours seems to be relatively unscathed.
but times like last evening gives me another glimpse of that man, that kind of relationship i had with him before jan was born. it’s not like the man or the relationship changed. they’re still there, still basically the same, just burrowed under the other roles, tasks and chores we have to attend to on a daily basis. and on days like yesterday’s, they resurface, and reminds me what a hidden treasure i’ve got.
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13 Responses to “when the cat is away, the treasure box opens”
March 2nd, 2007 at
Me and J rarely go out no matter how much we plan on doing it. I’m just glad that it doesn’t seem to affect our husband-and-wife relationship. A lot of people have advised us to go out on a date more often, just the two of us, and not neglect each other. But we just don’t see it that way. We actually enjoy it more when it’s the three of us.
I think it’s normal that way when parents only have ONE child.
March 2nd, 2007 at
i still think i’s a good thing, des– just the two of you going out once in a while. not too often though kasi mawawala naman na yung novelty. for us, one factor that made it a really enjoyable experience was knowing that jan was in good hands, better than any babysitter.
March 2nd, 2007 at
Steve & I are quite lucky to have my mom around. We go out on “dates” quite often and we both enjoy it tremendously. Sure, it’s weird not having the kids around even for an hour or two, but it’s refreshing. Besides, medyo sinasamantala na namin bago pa kami lumipat sa States hehe.
March 2nd, 2007 at
I wonder if it’ll be the same with Woody and me. I swore I’d never let that happen but perspective changes when the child is actually there.
Glad you two had the chance to reconnect!
March 3rd, 2007 at
It’s a different story when you’re working in the same company as in my case. On a whim, we actually find the time to be sweet to each other “when nobody’s looking” (Hehehe)… or have coffee break with just the two of us.
March 5th, 2007 at
What a loving entry, Ruth. And it’s nice that you were given this opportunity to rediscover each other. I have a friend who schedules Friday nights as date nights with her husband. The rest of the week she devotes to her 5, count ‘em 5!, kids. I don’t know if it’s easy, as I’m not a parent, but seeing her example is quite admirable. I hope that you and your husband get to have more alone time!
March 5th, 2007 at
Like yourselves Mrs H & I only get out a few times a year when the Juniorette is at a sleepover. We promise ourselves to try and get out more often but never seem to get around to it
March 5th, 2007 at
Oh, that is sweet. My hubby and I also would sneak out every now and then.. What’s funny is that - we have to ask permission from the kids whenever we want to go out alone! Haha! Baliktad na ang mundo!
March 6th, 2007 at
that’s nice to hear–to keep the fire burning. you see, hubby and i have been married 27 years, and we still see to it that we go on a date at least 2x a month (and it’s not just for dinner, you know…)even after 4 sons and 3 daughters.
March 6th, 2007 at
good to know nakaka-date na kayo ruthie — yan din kelangan i-remind namin ni simon — go out more,just the two of us!
March 6th, 2007 at
rhada: haha, oo nga, samantalahin si mommy! hehe. kelan lipat nyo?
pinayhekmi: we also tell ourselves that. but then life takes its course, and time just passes by so fast with a kid around you don’t realize you haven’t realized the plans. haaay… hope your pregnancy is going smoothly!
toni: oh gee, 5 kids. you know, i believe there are people that are made for that. but still, she must look forward to those friday nights so much!
haddock: exactly! isn’t that strange?
rhodora: haven’t reached that point yet, but sooner or later, most likely it’ll be the same with us.
sexy mom: 2x a month would be too much for us. no yayas, no maids, and we’re really not comfortable with the idea of getting a babysitter. and we’re really just shallow. a good meal and lots of time to chat, and it’ll be swell.
xtine: do! especially now that bea’s big na. we’d do it more often if we had the chance, pero well, you know naman how it is…
March 7th, 2007 at
i wonder what happened that night (with a sheepish grin)…
March 8th, 2007 at
junnie: wonder ka pa dyan!