on the halfway mark, and i can no longer count the number of ways my current pregnancy is different from my first.

prior to this, i’ve always said that i felt prettiest when i was pregnant with jan and that it was probably one of the happiest periods in my life. i basked in the attention and affection of the people around me, and except for very minor and occasional aches and pains, my pregnancy went smooth as silk. i devoured all information i could, and kept a pregnancy journal, noting all the tiniest details my body was going through. every centimeter, every gram i gained. every nudge and kick i felt.

this time? pretty is the last word i would use to describe how i feel. tired, clumsy, bloated, lazy, heavy, lousy, awkward. i’ve been remiss in taking my multivitamins, and i haven’t picked up a book on pregnancy. good thing i have NNN, which at least forces me to confront the subject of pregnancy. i’m not even excited to shop for baby stuff. i have an appointment with the OB later and instead of being eager to get updated with my baby’s development, i’m thinking it’s a waste of time. who wouldn’t, when you have to wait more than an hour for a 5-minute consultation with the doc, to be told that everything’s fine, and could you set up another appointment in 4 weeks’ time?

are subsequent pregnancies really less exciting than the first? or is it just me? perhaps i’m too old, too pragmatic, too jaded? or is this a phase i will eventually shake out of?

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