sahm again
when i hear someone say she’d love to just be stay at home mom if she could, i often find myself thinking that if she really did feel that way, she would. so why doesn’t she? if one delves deep enough, i suspect many (not all, of course) women choose to not to stay at home not because they can’t, but because they don’t want to.
and that’s fine.
don’t want to be tied at home, tending to the household and kids 24/7. don’t want to give up the second income. don’t want to lose out on career opportunities. don’t want to lose the sense of self they’ve built over several years. don’t want to be intellectually stagnant. don’t want to be considered less productive. don’t want to lose self-worth. don’t want to be financially dependent on spouse. don’t want exchange the glamour for the hausfrau lifestyle.
sure, i know, because over the last years, i’ve felt all those at some point or another, too. being a sahm is definitely not an option for everyone. for me, it resonates with my priorities and values. it’s the option that feels right (whether it actually is, isn’t important. afterall, i think there are no absolute rights and wrongs in such issues).
what i have learned over the past 6 years, though, is that deciding to be a sahm need not be cast in stone. children grow up, the family needs vary in time, a person’s priorities change, too. before mia came into our lives, i was nearly ready to go back to work. no, not build a career, but just find a job. but now that mia’s here, that has got to be shelved once more. do i regret it? honestly, yes, a bit. but i know that if i don’t give mia the kind of attention and environment i was able to provide jan, i will regret it even more.
there will always be jobs out there. there will always be opportunities (Wilmington real estate, anyone? — hehe, wala akong commision dyan) . but these precious years when my kids need me most, that happens only once.
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10 Responses to “sahm again”
May 29th, 2008 at
WOW. spoken like a dedicated mom! saludo ako.
May 29th, 2008 at
i mean like the dedicated mom that you are.
May 30th, 2008 at
i remember noong sahm din ako. nung maliit pa si jeff din. when he started going to school, that’s when i really decided on looking for a job, kasi almost the whole day siyang wala. i would have gone nuts staying home all by myself!
however, i did at some point ask myself why i was staying at home as opposed to have been a working mommy then. but you know what…the bond that me and jeff have right now, it’s more than enough to remind me that i did the right thing.
May 30th, 2008 at
agree ako…basta…agree. walang kokontra.
May 31st, 2008 at
no, glo, i’m a work in progress. may times din na gusto kong ipamigay mga anak ko, bwahaha!
des, ano, wala pa bang kasunod si jeff?
rhada, kulit mo!:)
May 31st, 2008 at
yup, that’s the real reason for me — to be with the kids during their growing up years. i could always find work later, if i wanted too. but for now, am enjoying being with my kids 24 hours a day, erm sempre minsan i also enjoy having me time
May 31st, 2008 at
hehehe…..next question, please!
June 2nd, 2008 at
bull’s eye. that 3rd paragraph describes me, arggh.
June 5th, 2008 at
You’re absolutely right. There will always be opportunities out there. Now or in the future. Just as an example..my MIL was a dedicated SAHM for 20+ years. When her kids grew up she started a catering company (with her kids as financiers). Now she’s raking it in
June 13th, 2008 at
I agree with you. I am not really a SAHM type, or so I thought before but when I carted off Mina to daycare everyday I felt the pain of not being there for her. Hence I turned our world upside down so i can be here for her. Once I become a nurse, I can take a night shift so I’ll be there for her during the day, and her dad in the afternoons. I don’t want strangers, or even my mom to be the one taking care of her.
Kisses to Mia and Jan.