when i hear someone say she’d love to just be stay at home mom if she could, i often find myself thinking that if she really did feel that way, she would. so why doesn’t she? if one delves deep enough, i suspect many (not all, of course) women choose to not to stay at home not because they can’t, but because they don’t want to.

and that’s fine.

don’t want to be tied at home, tending to the household and kids 24/7. don’t want to give up the second income. don’t want to lose out on career opportunities. don’t want to lose the sense of self they’ve built over several years. don’t want to be intellectually stagnant. don’t want to be considered less productive. don’t want to lose self-worth. don’t want to be financially dependent on spouse. don’t want exchange the glamour for the hausfrau lifestyle.

sure, i know, because over the last years, i’ve felt all those at some point or another, too. being a sahm is definitely not an option for everyone. for me, it resonates with my priorities and values. it’s the option that feels right (whether it actually is, isn’t important. afterall, i think there are no absolute rights and wrongs in such issues).

what i have learned over the past 6 years, though, is that deciding to be a sahm need not be cast in stone. children grow up, the family needs vary in time, a person’s priorities change, too. before mia came into our lives, i was nearly ready to go back to work. no, not build a career, but just find a job. but now that mia’s here, that has got to be shelved once more. do i regret it? honestly, yes, a bit. but i know that if i don’t give mia the kind of attention and environment i was able to provide jan, i will regret it even more.

there will always be jobs out there. there will always be opportunities (Wilmington real estate, anyone? — hehe, wala akong commision dyan) . but these precious years when my kids need me most, that happens only once.

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