transposable element

it’s been a week since mia was born and i can’t tell whether coping with a new member of the family is easier this time around or not. so far, things have been gong pretty smoothly, too smooth and easy-going than i expected for me to believe this status quo will last. in under a week, i’m physically more or less recovered from the delivery (though my ab muscles are still nowhere to be found and my tummy’s all wriggly and wobbly) and i’ve even overcome breastfeeding obstacles (when else will you have rock-hard, move-over-pamela-anderson sized mammary glands?) in less time than it took me with jan. mia’s sleeping a lot, even at nighttime, so i’m not as sleepless as i dreaded i would be (though i am more sleepy than usual these days). so far, she’s been a darling, not fussy at all (knock on wood).

i intentionally asked my folks not to come immediately after i give birth, as i thought we would need the time and space to fall into our new roles and establish a routine that works for the family before we have folks stay with us for a visit. but as things are, i suppose i should tell them it’s time to scout for flight deals!

i need a strong CAT6 cable. no, not for transferring data. but to wring around hubby’s neck.

this morning was an early start. jan is joining a kindergarten excursion to a vegetable farm, and as i couldn’t keep my eyes open even after the morning coffee, it was hubby who prepared jan for school. he cooked their breakfast of scrambled eggs and baked beans. perfect.

when i woke up, i ate their leftovers on the table and after some time online, i made myself ready for an OB appointment at midday. all ok, had a light lunch with hubby, and went on to do some grocery shopping. went home, and for the first time today, i entered the kitchen.

“geez, is it warm in here”, i thought. and as i reached to the cupboards above the stove, i saw it: a little flame has been left burning.

it’s been burning for hours. while i slept. while i was out. while i was eating lunch. while i was shopping. all morning, that little flame was burning.

what if there’d been a strong gust of wind, and that flame was blown off? the gas would have continued to leak.

shudder.

in the philippines, april is fire prevention month. please do take extra care.

our bags are packed. i wish i was going on holiday, lugging golf bags, but no, i’m talking about my hospital bag and jan’s overnight bag, in case he needs to stay with relatives while i’m at the hospital delivering the next member of the family. unlike with anticipating your first child, i realize this delivery and the succeeding couple of weeks will take a little bit more of planning and coordination as this time around, there’s jan to consider as well. he’ll probably miss a day or so from kindergarten, as i’m sure he’d also appreciate being present during the first few days, but i’m hoping his schedule won’t be disrupted more than necessary.

certainly, we’ll have to find and fit a into a new routine that works for us all, and it will take some getting used to. it will take weeks, perhaps months til we find some semblance of normalcy, some sense of alltag or “everyday-ness”, to our lives. it will be challenging, frustrating at times, perhaps. sleepless nights, school stress, job requirements, extra-curricular activities, wet nappies and engorged breasts.

but we are a team. a family. what is there to worry about?

it’s been a year, dad. a lot have changed since you were gone. some for the better, some for the worse, but i think we are all coping well, getting on with our lives. living, just like you would have wanted us to. sometimes i wish you didn’t have to go, but i comfort myself in knowing you’re with me, will always be.

i never really fully understood the connection of easter eggs, easter bunnies and easter egg hunt to the christian feast celebrating jesus christ’s rising from the dead. and having celebrated easter here in singapore, i got even more confused. over the easter weekend, we saw lots of people go and visit and offer gifts to their dead and burn pieces of paper. although perhaps that was an entirely different commemoration that didn’t have anything to do with easter and was just a date coincidence. or qingming, the chinese all souls’ day held in advance? oh well…

for jan, easter is like a mini christmastime, just that instead of the nikolaus, it’s the easter bunny bringing the goodies. sometimes i feel a bit worried perpetrating these illusions. when it eventually sinks in that there really is no santa claus, and that bunnies couldn’t care less about colored eggs, it’s gonna be one major letdown.

a sneak peek of our photos from last weekend’s shoot:

many many thanks to rey and cata and the rest of the gang…

sorry, thumbnails na lang muna. shy ako eh. hehe.

after my father passed away, we’ve been trying to convince my mom to liquidate the properties they have acquired and use the proceeds to do the things she wants to do, to enjoy life the way she deserves to, to do the things she’s always wanted to do but never dared to. my siblings and i have no interest on those properties, anyway.but, she stubbornly refuses. she says, one day, they will be handy. she thinks that if times get tough, you always scout for mortgage lenders and use the properties as collateral. what she doesn’t see is that she’s not exactly that young anymore. if she wants to reap the benefits of their investments, now’s the time to cash in. but she remains firm. like most pinoy parents, she thinks of their investments as pamana, for their children to enjoy. i, on the other hand, believe we have no birthright to things we did not lift a single finger to acquire. will we find a common ground? abangan.

it’s been a busy busy weekend, trolling the shops for home and baby stuff. we’ve finally made it to the baby hyperstore and baby kingdom warehouse shops in kaki bukit, but i guess it wasn’t such a good idea to go on a weekend. too many people, too little space, and the staff were simply overwhelmed. there also didn’t seem to be many strollers meant for newborns on display (although i was surprised that they did carry the mia moda cielo. it was really as amazing as it was on video!). we left the place with not a single purchase.

then off to ikea at tampines. bought some small items, and have decided on which bigger pieces to have delivered. several shelves, also for jan’s room. it still awes me that for just $40, ikea does home delivery, and for a minimal fee, would even assemble your stuff for you. back in germany? d.i.y. all the way, baby! even if you had a car, you’d need truck racks to bring home those long slabs of wood, which you’d have to put together yourself, too. i don’t want to imagine how much it would cost if you ask an ikea staff to come over to your place to assemble your furniture. probably several times more than what you paid for the item itself, haha.

next stop: courts. they’re currently having a sale (which store isn’t?!) and we wanted to look at the washing machines they had on display. i was dead set on getting a bosch (german brand, of course. i would have wanted a miele, but man, it’s teuer), but the salesperson (who seemed to know what she was talking about — a rarity in shops here, it seems) did a very convincing pitch for electrolux. gotta decide within the week…

sunday, we watched the waterhorse (really endearing film!) and then proceeded to the mayhem called orchard road. they say this is the country’s ultimate shopping paradise, but i’m not sure why i dislike this place so much. but oh well, takashimaya is having a baby fair, and i was told they had more strollers on display. sure enough, they did. but again, the place was so crowded i can’t hear myself think, much more evaluate and decide on the items on display. so after about half an hour milling about, we gave up; i guess i’ll simply have to go back on a weekday, maybe at opening time when there would be virtually nobody!

i think i have my malling dose for the week, though. make that a month. there used to be a time when i enjoyed going to the malls, if just for window shopping. now? if i could buy everything online, i would.

sign of aging?

we still haven’t gotten the chance to browse the shops for strollers. hubby was indisposed last weekend, walking cross-country, and i didn’t want to go to the shops alone. i’ve been trolling the web, though, but it seems like most of the sleek, lightweight, easy-to-fold models aren’t made for newborns.

among those in this category, which includes quinny and bugaboo, i found the mia moda cielo really cool, my jaw literally dropped as i watched the video demo. and it’s way cheaper, too. too bad, it’s only suitable for 6 months onwards….

this is not a paid post. –> feels kinda strange to feel compelled to point this out, though.

i try, but sometimes, not hard enough. i know it and feel guilty about it. i should be more caring, more attentive, more friendly. jan deserves more hugs, more time, more laughter. he needs to be read to, played with, and talked to more often.

being busy, being tired, those are not valid excuses. isn’t her child a mother’s foremost priority?

but if there’s one crucial thing i know i did right, it’s choosing my child(ren)’s father.

in every sense of the word, hubby’s as much of a parent to jan as i have been, perhaps even more. he has changed diapers and rocked jan to sleep almost as many times as i did. he has been there during jan’s crucial well-baby check-ups, and did research on all medications and immunizations jan ever received. he pushed jan’s buggy and wore the sling for far more kilometers than i ever did. it took him 3 sessions to teach jan to ride the bike (never with support wheels!). he is totally involved about jan’s schooling, and has attended all parent meetings. he’s read bedtime stories and tinkered with legos and playmobils with jan more than i’ve ever had. nowadays, his morning routine involves packing jan’s breakfast (jan insists on “real” bread for breakfast), ironing his uniform, and bringing him to school, not leaving until jan has had his breakfast.

i’m not a perfect parent. far, far from it. but i thank my lucky stars i have a parenting partner that more than makes up for it. i may be his better half, but he is, hands down, the better parent.