transposable element

on and off for the last several months, i’ve been baking cinnamon rolls, using recommended recipes on the web. i’ve tried a number of them recipes, but none has given me the gooey cinnabon copy i was expecting (and i’m getting closer to needing a Lipofuze treatment in the process, ack!). maybe it’s me, maybe it’s my oven with its dodgy thermostat. i’ve finally created a recipe variant that actually tasted good, but made me frustrated because, well, because it’s just not it.

and then a couple of months ago, mcdonalds reintroduced their cinnamon melts and that was it. no more baking and toiling in my overly warm kitchen. mac’s cinnamon melts tasted like they collected the cores from cinnabon rolls, tossed them into a bowl and poured heavenly cream sauce over it. bliss!

but alas, some good things never last. the cinnamon melts are no more. they’re back to boring old apple pie for dessert. but ah, the recipe is plastered all over the web. i’ve finally gotten to bake a batch the other day and man, they are gooood.

out of the dozen i’ve baked, there’s one single tin left. not for long!

ah… so that’s how it is to celebrate christmas and new year in singapore. hm. ho-hum.

note to self: start making plans soon to spend the next holiday season elsewhere.

come to think of it, we’ve had lots of fun, recreating german christmas traditions here in the tropics. my in-laws sent a package of goodies: dresdner christstollen (most of the 2 kg sugary cake now rests on my hips), dominosteine, lebkuchen, and marzipankartoffeln. in addition, we also ordered a box of treats from schmidt and have been making our own glühwein and kinderpunsch, never mind the fact that it’s 35 degrees outside!

we slid into 2008 peacefully, too. i wouldn’t describe it as festive or racuous, but it was a smooth transition. 2007 has been an extremely eventful and exhilarating ride and i’m glad it has come to a close. or has it? who knows what’s in store for 2008?

here’s wishing everyone a bountiful and fun-filled year ahead!

here in singapore, shops have their holiday trimmings up, tempting people to start their buying sprees. of course, the earlier they start offering christmas wares, the better it would be for the sales. sure, we’ve gone with the flow ourselves, and started buying christmas decos as we’re starting from zilch. and though i’ve made our coffee table a bit more festive, most of what we’ve bought are still in storage. i don’t know. there’s just something not right with christmassing in november. especially in a place where the majority of the population aren’t even christians. i can’t shake the feeling that there’s something awkward - well, kinda fake to put it bluntly- about celebrating christmas here in singapore.

in the philippines, it used to be that christmastime is church-centric, dominated by the misa de gallo, a 9-day series of masses conducted at dawn. home decors would consist of mostly nativity scenes and lanterns (parol) crafted from bamboo sticks and japanese rice paper (papel de hapon) and crepe paper. children would go caroling from house to house, singing christmas songs, with a maracas-like instrument made from strung softdrink bottle caps as accompaniment. these are scenes i remember from my childhood though. nowadays, very few complete the 9-day simbang gabi, puto bumbong is available all year round, carolers are just annoying, and on christmas day, parishes hold misa de gallo by the hour even up to 9-10 am. gotta fill the coffers, i suppose. philippine chistmas traditions are rapidly fading away, much like how the pangangaluluwa is giving way to halloween trick-or-treating.

christmastime in germany, on the other hand, is one of the things i appreciate (and miss) the most. sure, there is just about as much shopping frenzy in december there as anywhere else, but at the same time, the christmas season is steeped in family- and child-oriented traditions. christmas markets, mulled wine, lebkuchen and stollen, advent calendar, songs and rhymes, wreathes and candles… these are just some of what everyone looks forward to, what people associate with christmas. not the trees, the parties or the gifts. family, that’s what it really is all about.

i miss my family in the philippines, but think i love spending christmas in germany more. unfortunately, we’re stuck here in singapore as i’ve put off booking tickets too late. arrgh.

and the countdown begins! less than 3 weeks to wrap up and though we’ve accomplished more tasks than ever before, it seems the list of things-to-do is still a long way from all getting ticked off. but we’re getting there, one task at a time.

quit apartment. check.
quit kindergarten. check.
settle car lease. check.
quit water/electricity. check.
quit ADAC. check.
quit magazine subscriptions. check.
quit telephone.
quit internet.
quit mobile phones.

city de-registration. check.
post office mail forwarding.

get shipment quotes. check.
schedule shipment pick up. check.
pack jan’s stuff. check
pack ruth’s stuff.
pack hubby’s stuff.
pack household stuff.

see ob-gyn. check.
see dentist.
see pedia.
quit health insurance.

organize storage. check.
schedule pick-up of stuff for storage.
organize final garage sale.
schedule pick up of bulky trash.
organize flat renovation/clean-up. check.
pack suitcases.

visa applications. check.
book flights. check.
jan’s kindergarten. check
find flat.
settle.

three weeks. you know that tight feeling you get when the panic surges but you’re desperately trying to push it all back in?

the last several weeks, we’ve had splendid summer-like days spent grilling, biking and basically doing summer activities right in the middle of spring.

yesterday, however, autumn seems to have started as temperatures fell and the skies turned grey. at the rate we’re going, perhaps we’ll have the first snowfall by june.

aside: it’s fun rediscovering photobucket. flickr is ok, but now i see there’s more fun stuff one can do with photos at photobucket, even with the free accounts.

relocation lesson number 1: do not sell your bookshelves until you’ve figured out what you want to do with your books.

ok, so i’ve sold most of our bookshelves in preparation for our move. now i don’t know what to do with the books that used to sit in them. i’ve temporarily put them in shipping boxes, but looking at how many boxes we’ve already filled with just books alone, i think we should re-think shipping these. otherwise, our shipping container would already be full, and man can’t live on books alone, eh?

time to get mean.

there are perhaps a few books i’d like to keep and would never part with, but i don’t feel the same connection with most of the books on my shelf (hubby is a different species, though; he’d ship 20 year old magazines halfway round the world, if possible). they were good reads, entertaining, but that’s it. they were good until i’ve turned the last page. but i most likely won’t read them again, ever.

which means, really, i just can’t justify paying for shipment of these books. so i was wondering, would anyone be interested in a book exchange?

i am going to put up a list, and if there’s something that fits your fancy, raise your hand… or leave a comment, or send me an email, and i’ll mail the book(s) to you. but here’s the catch: you have to send me one in exchange. i don’t care if it’s used, even dilapidated, as long as the pages are complete, and i haven’t read it yet. and, you have to mail it to the address of our next home.

think about it. you get a new book (or at least they look like they’re almost new) for the price of mailing a book to singapore, plus you get rid of that book you no longer want to keep (but you have to tell me what you’re sending, in case i’ve already read it).

of course, if nobody’s interested, i can always drop them at the library. their english section could definitely use some addition.

on to the next item on this year’s agenda: we’ve got roughly two months to get our act together before we leave germ’s land and set up shop on that little country at the tip of the malay peninsula.

we’ve notified our landlord, and we’re starting to cancel contracts on our utilities– phone, cellphones, internet, cable tv, water/electricity/heating, insurances, ADAC, etc. we’ve sold some of our stuff, and will post ads shortly for the rest. we’re not planning to ship much apart from our personal effects and jan’s toys, so we’d really like to get rid of as much as possible– from the car down to candle holders. we figured it doesn’t make sense to pay for the shipping of our ikea-type furniture; the shipping probably cost as much as, if not more than, the items themselves. we’re now just waiting for quotes from shipping services, and from there, we’d be able to decide just how brutal this year’s spring cleaning will have to be.

the only remaining issue are the antique hand-me-downs from hubby’s grandma, acquired prior to the first world war. much as i would like to keep these beautiful pieces for sentimental reasons, we simply can’t afford to have them shipped. not when we have all the other relocation-related expenses to take care of as well. either we pay for storage and have them shipped at a later date, or we sell them now. the challenge is to find an honest antique dealer who will give us a fair price for them, and this in the next two months.

it’s funny how these all make me feel, though: to leave the comfort and security of germany to start a new chapter of our lives elsewhere. after all, relocation is not just about changing your location. it’s about changing your life.

jan and i are off to the ‘peens in a few hours. unfortunately, hubby has to stay behind and toil on his manuscript, lest we botch our plans of relocating. besides, he has to make a headstart in clearing up the flat. i’ve already sold jan’s big buggy and cabinet, and we still have to figure out what to do with all the rest. but the next few weeks, we’re gonna have to do a real, mean spring cleaning… the brutal kind. still need it? pack. no? throw. and by the looks of it, we’re gonna have to chuck at least 80% of the contents of our flat. some are useless– magazines, old clothes, etc– but hopefully, we can sell the other stuff, if just for a few euros.

so i’m gonna leave hubby to deal with that, while i face another battle. an emotional, rather than a physical one.

god give me strength to face this.

ok, that’s it. i’ve given my students their written exam. i just have to correct their papers, calculate grades, and, i’m done with them. unlike with the intensive course i handled in september, getting this particular class motivated and interested was like pulling teeth and it’s the last straw. i’m done with teaching. that’s it. end of the line, finito. in german schools, that is.

i used to love teaching, my first job back in the philippines. i’ve held jobs in the industry as well as in research, but i’ve always considered teaching to be the most fulfilling. imagine the impact you exert on all these young minds, full of potential and promise! i’ve had very meaningful relationships with some of my students, and to this day, still keep in touch with some of them. on one occasion, a student of mine saw me at a mall in some remote town in north luzon, and screamed, “ma’am ruuuuuth!!!” at the last moment we remembered we were teacher-student, and not friends and refrained from hugging each other. a few have also found me in friendster and send me notes every now and then. it makes me feel all fuzzy and warm to know they remember, and must have good memories of our times together in class to greet me with such apparent pleasure, even more than a decade after they’ve graduated from university.

so i can’t understand why my teaching experience here in germany has been… galling. exasperating, even. maybe because the students were at least 5, some even 10, years older than my students in pinas? does age explain the arrogance, the feeling that they already know enough and thus need no longer study? why do they constantly have to be convinced that they’re in class to learn stuff, and not because i want to make their lives miserable? or is it because education here costs so little? is the value of education equivalent to the amount of money one pays for it? is it maybe cultural, that teachers in the philippines are accorded more respect and are highly regarded by their students and the society?

ah, maybe i’m just getting old. or tired. at any rate, i really don’t have the time nor energy anymore to waste teaching people who don’t want to learn. the school bell has rung. class dismissed.

years from now, i’m gonna look back at february 2007 and will remember it one of the significant chapters of this journal.

if january has been ominous, it seems like this month will be a month of resolution. it’s going to be pivotal, a turning point, a time to choose which fork of the road to follow. it’s not going to be easy, and the consequences will be grave.

success or failure.
happiness or grief.
life or death.

decisions will be made. as if the choices were really ours to make.